Early Signs of Autism You Won't Read on Generic Sites

In looking up early symptoms for autism, parents will find some basic things, like speech delays, issues with eye contact, babies not smiling by six months. But Ethan did all of these things. His speech was always within the minimum word development that children should have by certain ages. He babbled on time. He smiled early on. He looked at me.

There were other issues, which I’m listing below, that were happening and that I had NO IDEA why because I could not find information on these particular topics ANYWHERE. However, I've since learned that other parents of autistic children have also struggled with many of these problems. This is my list of additional symptoms.

1. Watch for sleep problems. From the time Ethan was born, he did not sleep like other babies. He took short little cat naps (maximum of 20 minutes) and only in his swing. He did not sleep through the night until he was almost 4 years old. I would leave him to "cry it out" early on, and he would literally cry for hours without ever stopping. I now know that some doctors believe children with autism often do not produce enough sleep chemicals (melatonin).

2. He would cry until he threw up. This became a HUGE issue at night time (the attempt to cry it out) and at church, where we could not leave him in the nursery without a worker getting vomit in her shoes! Autism is a disorder that affects the digestive system. Many children with autism have severe reflux. Another issue is that a lot of children with autism don’t like certain textures of food. That – combined with reflux – means a lot of vomiting at dinner time. (Strangely, Ethan ate EVERYTHING when he was little. Now he won’t touch most foods.)

3. Meltdowns. These are not tantrums. They are out-of-control events that the child does not snap out of if s/he gets his way. I had no idea what was going on. Only that I couldn’t figure out how to stop them. I couldn’t figure out ways to discipline Ethan and make it work. They discipline led to meltdowns, which led to vomiting.

4. Hitting, kicking, pushing, etc. We went to a child psychologist just prior to Ethan's thid birthday because he would hit the fire out of us during his meltdowns. The psychologist said that hitting at that age usually indicated a speech delay. That seemed very odd to me because, again, he was at least meeting the minimum requirement for word usage. We had him tested, and sure enough he was significantly behind on both receptive and expressive language.

5. Extreme anxiety. Than was afraid of being left at church. He was afraid of loud noises. He was afraid of going potty, which leads to number six.

6. Problems with potty training. Gastrointestinal problems, anxiety and simply a lack of interest in being labeled a “big boy” -- or girl – can make toilet training extra difficult. This can also be an early sign of autism.

7. Sensory problems. If they don't like tags itching them, don't like loud noises, don't tolerate certain food textures, react negatively to strong light or smells, and so on, there are probably some sensory issues and this is a very important element of autism that is often overlooked.

8. Extreme learning/abilities. At age 18 months, Ethan learned to spin those stackable rings like a pro. He knew his alphabet (could point to the letters on anything) by 20 months, before he could talk. The first real batch of words out of his mouth were numbers (and he recognized them). This was at around 22 months. By his second birthday, he knew colors and shapes, including some strange ones like turquoise and nonagons. By age four he was adding triple digit numbers in his head. (By then we’d gotten the diagnosis.)

8. Extreme interests. Ethan's started with numbers. While other kids built things with blocks, we built numbers. We made them out of tinker toys, train tracks, and so on. He often could not fall asleep at night because he was too busy thinking about and saying numbers…over and over and over.

9. Unusual disinterests. I will never forget taking Ethan to the zoo. He must have been almost two, but he was in a stroller. The female lions were right next to the window we looked through, but Ethan was busy counting the screws in the man-made cave, paying zero attention to the animal. I now know Ethan is very afraid of animals, and again, very into numbers.

The above are early symptoms I’ve discovered as a mom of an autistic child. It’s not to say that all autistic children will have these symptoms, nor is it to say that a child who has these symptoms is autistic. However, if you have concerns that something may be “off” with your young child, here are my recommendations:

1. Trust your instincts. Ethan was my first child and I had not been around a lot of small children to compare him to. But as his mommy, I knew something was different about him early on. I took a lot of criticism and heard a lot of "advice" from unknowing parties, but again, I knew something was different.

2. Get your child tested. If negative behaviors are taking place, if you notice unusual sensory issues, or if there are obvious speech delays delays, don’t wait. Don’t trust your general pediatrician’s advice unless s/he specializes in autism. I was told by one doctor Ethan would probably “grow out of” his autism. There is no such thing! Early intervention is so, so important!

3. Don't think you can do this on your own. I've heard parents who feared getting their child tested because they couldn't afford the therapy. In Arkansas, at least, the school systems offer early intervention for preschool age children (therapies) even if they are not in any form of school. We also qualified for a special Medicaid program that covered the large percentage of our therapy bills, including the autism screening itself.

4. Talk to other parents. Get online. Find communities. Facebook has a ton of them, including my page-- Twilights4autism.

5. Find a doctor who knows what s/he is talking about when it comes to autism. The epidemic has come on so quickly that a lot of physicians are not up to date, but some are. Don't settle for less than someone who knows about the subject!

6. Prepare to become your child's advocate. Learn your rights and don’t be afraid to fight for them. That’s not to say that the “system” is against you, as many declare. I’ve personally never had problems with our school. However, no one is going to fight for your child as much as you will.

7. Know that you are not alone, and that autism is ok.

I would not trade my son -- or his autism -- for the world! Some of the quirks get old and some days are hard, but he has such a unique way of looking at the world. He is a joy and a delight. I always tell people he is super cool, because he truly is. For that I am truly blessed.

Oh Poop!

Ethan, who is afraid of animals – except for Nibbles the guinea pig – began crying this morning when I told him he would have to wait his turn to take home his first grade classroom’s chicks. Yesterday he told me he was terrified of the little balls of yellow fuzz. So I knew…

“Ethan, you’re going to have to sit on the potty.” (Ugh.)

Without going into too much detail, going “potty” is a BIG deal when it comes to my seven-year-old, high-functioning autistic son. (And apparently this is common in persons with autism because it is a disorder that affects the guts as well as the nerves and the brain.) He has been on an adult dose of Miralax daily since he was two, but we have stages where he refuses to cooperate, such as this past week. He will purposely spill his medicated water out of spite. Then the cycle begins.

When he gets out of sorts, he begins talking gibberish. He starts to cry over unusual things. He starts to misbehave. And he starts to say things like, “I want to do bad things,” “I want to tell lies,” “I want to break the law.” And he will lay on his tummy and tells me he’s cold or tired, even it’s 90 degrees in the house and well before his bedtime.

When a similar situation happened last week, I eventually had to force the issue and ended up with an Ethan meltdown, including a slap across my face and a kick to the gut.

“WHAT?!?! I would not put up with that!” I can just hear my friends who have “typical” children respond.

But many parents of autistic children simply nod in agreement because they’ve been there. Afterward, he told me he was “so, so very sorry” for doing that.

Meltdowns were what led us to a child psychologist when Ethan was 3 years old. These are not simply tantrums. They are totally out-of-control, violent episodes that the child honestly cannot stop just by sheer will.

We learned that hitting at that age generally indicated a language issue. Even though Ethan was progressing “normally” with the number of words he used, we had him tested and found he had significant problems in the use of receptive and expressive language.

Sure enough, as Ethan’s language progressed, the meltdowns lessened. Fortunately these events are very rare nowadays, and usually caused by, well, see the above... . It’s a good thing they don't happen often now because my little man is getting heavy and strong!

This morning, however, things went well. A few little tears, 10 minutes tardy to school, then all was good. He went back to his sweet, funny self, had a great day, and in turn, so did I.